bravenewworld | Descent into Darkness

Descent into Darkness

As the characters arrive, they will find what appears to be a rather deep cavern. Upon entering, the caverns are quite narrow, with twists and turns everywhere and different tunnels that all seem to be interconnected. As characters travel deeper within the caverns, reality around them will start to warp, they will start to see and hear things that aren’t necessarily there - images of old enemies, past failures, voices of condemnation, visions that strike at the soul and core of the characters. Once this begins, it will only increase in power and volume, demanding it be confronted, lest they be trapped within these caves forever.

[OOC: This event will run for a week. All characters who enter the caves will be subject to some of their deepest fears, darkest demons, and most abject failures. To overcome them, characters must help each other out, finding their purpose through strength of character and resolve to move forward. In general, these visions should require characters to come to grips with themselves. Illusory images and voices can and will appear and can take any number of forms, depending on what is most appropriate to a character. Additionally, characters may thread with each other and are encouraged to help each other out to overcome these personal demons. For those who wish to take part, they are able and encouraged to narrate their own personal demons, which will be on display for everyone who enters their thread. IC threads may be made in this post.]

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[He tries not to look at it, but even the greyed image of the Spiritomb floating there so close earned a flick of his eyes back to it every now and again. Just to make sure it's not moving.]

I...had no idea. [His expression drops a little, saddened by that news.] That thing is seriously freaky...you're lucky you're still alive. Mami...I'm sorry. [He doesn't know what else to say. It has to be hard witnessing that again.]

[It isn't moving. Nor is Mami's mother, whose hand is stretched out towards her. Maybe it's how it happened or how it's frozen; maybe it's Mami's memory filling in details. Either way, like this, she looks pleading. Mami's eyes aren't on the Spiritomb, but her mother.]

It's... everyone has things they must deal with, don't they?

[But it sounds weak, when she says it.]

It wasn't that I couldn't fight it. When I saw it, I... started running. I was so scared that I stopped thinking. She--she told me to run, but...

[Her hand balls into a fist and her words come out thick and choked. She pointedly looks at the unblinking memory of her mother, rather than the real person present.]

...even if she begged for help, I would have kept running.

Mami... [He moves towards her, cautiously, not sure if she'd push him away or not. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, and all he wants to do is provide some kind of comfort for her. To see your own parent's demise again, it has to be ripping her apart on the inside.]

If you hadn't run you might be dead too. She knew that. That's why she told you to run.

[That thing, swirling above her mother, he can't imagine anyone could survive that.]

[She doesn't push him away. She wants to be comforted. She doesn't want to want that -- she wants to think that she shouldn't need it. That she doesn't deserve it. She looks down, though, her eyes straight on the ground instead of on her mother.]

I know she did. But... it doesn't make it right, to abandon her like that. I didn't deserve to live when they didn't. I could have changed things.

[Her shoulders slump. Her voice cracks, finally, and it sounds small but thick with emotion. She only barely keeps the sob out of her voice, but she isn't hiding the tears so much as keeping her face pointed down at the ground.]

My first thought was to be selfish. I'm not the person that everyone thinks I am. She... she would hate me, if she knew what I was really like.

[His arms open to take her into a hug, pulling her into him. She doesn't have to look up at him, hearing her come out to admit these things was difficult enough. She needed someone there for her. She could cry, scream, or do whatever she had to, he'd stand here for her throughout the whole thing if that's what she wanted.]

Stop it. You deserve to live just as much. And you don't know if you could of changed anything. You said it yourself, that's the most powerful wild pokémon you've ever seen. You were terrified...anyone would have ran. I think...that they'd be more sad if you hadn't lived.

And she wouldn't hate you. Nobody would hate you.

[His face is pulled away to look straight at her, even if it is the top of her head or not.]

[She doesn't push away after he hugs her. She wraps her arms around him tightly, burying his face in his shirt, and shakes her head quickly. She tries to answer, but a couple of sobs cut that off short. She cries into his shirt, before she pulls her head back enough to talk.]

[It leaves him looking at the top of her head.]

I'm still terrified. I think of that, of how I could have died. I'm not an amazing ace. I push myself hard, so no one realize.

[Then her voice drops to a whisper.]

I try to push people away, too. It's... easier, if I do it alone. Then, if I die, it won't hurt others as much. But I can't keep them at arm's distance.

Are you kidding me? You're one of the most amazing Valkyries I've ever seen. [He puts his hand on the back of her head, smiling down at Mami. He hugs her tightly, rocking back and forth just so.]

You can't live your life all alone like that. It's way harder to do everything by yourself. People care about you, Mami. It's okay if you let us. It hurts...to be alone.

[His eyes soften. Almost pained, but he fights that thought back.]

[It's not easy for her to accept that compliment. She opens her mouth, but the protest doesn't come. She doesn't want to believe it or accept it, but she wants it just the same. Maybe...]

[...maybe she can accept it. It feels too good not to. That thought scares her, too, and she hugs tighter against him.]

[She's quiet for awhile, swaying back and forth, before she pulls back a little. She wipes at her eyes with her fingers, still crying but not sobbing, and smiles. It's small, but not forced.]

I don't know if I really deserve that. Or deserve someone like you.

[But she's not smiling because she's broken. She reached a decision.]

But... perhaps I'll take your word for it, until I can feel differently about myself.

Edited 2015-07-28 19:59 (UTC)

Don't say things like that. [He brushes a hand through her bangs, but he's absolutely serious about her own attitude towards herself.] You deserve just as much as the next person.

And what do you mean someone like me anyway? I'm nothing really all that special. In fact, you probably deserve even better. You've worked really hard and helped a lot of people! Doesn't that merit something? It's stuff like this...that just makes you stronger in the end.

[Not once, does he break eye contact with her. He wants her to understand that he means what he's saying, and he hopes that she does come to believe it. He can't imagine someone like her feeling the way she does, but it makes sense.]

[She doesn't, she thinks, but... she wants to think she does. She wants that enough to not protest, even if it's at the tip of her tongue. Survivor's guilt is a powerful thing.]

...You've been kind to me, Yosuke. Kinder than I think I deserve. I...

[She has helped people. But can she ever help enough? Enough to make up for that lingering guilt? Enough that she hasn't pursued vengeance, the way that Sakura has?]

...I don't feel stronger. But that hasn't stopped me yet, either.

You made it this far. [He nods. She kept driving forward despite the tragedy.] You could of done nothing, but instead you chose to work even harder as a Valkyrie. I think that makes you stronger.

[His little moment of comforting Mami doesn't last long. Not but a few seconds after saying it, an evil, distorted laugh erupts from the side.]

Ahahahaha! How touching. You two done yet? I'm getting bored watching this soap opera. It's a total snooze!

[The figure standing there looks exactly like Yosuke, save for the sickening yellow eyes the glow against the greyscale scene they stood in. The grin on his face is twisted, his arms folded with his head cocked to the side. Yosuke's eyes widen, surprised.]

You again...

[Mami nods her head idly. She still isn't so sure, but... she can accept it. She starts to smile, until she hears that distorted laugh. Her eyes widen; then she turns her head to regard the other Yosuke.]

[She stares a moment, before she pulls back from Yosuke's hug -- not out of any desire to be away from him, but reflexively going on the defensive.]

Who's this?

What? Don't tell me you didn't tell her! Ahahaha! [It laughs again, hand over his face before grinning evilly back at the two of them. Yosuke too, falls into a defensive stance.] I thought we already beat you! What are you doing back?!

What a joke! Trying to impress her by being all heroic? Come on! Clinging to the one thing that doesn't make you feel so alone. That's really it, right? You're so scared of being alone that you'll take whatever you can get! The more the merrier! Remember, no friends? That's because you're such a pain in the ass!

[It laughs again, and he grits his teeth with anger. It had appeared with Yukiko before, but now it's spitting out even harsher words, and things that it hadn't revealed to his other friend.]

Shut up! The only pain in the ass around here is you!

[So alone...?]

[Mami wonders about that. She stares at the shadow version of Yosuke, her eyes narrowing. She's still on edge, her eyes red and puffy, but in a sense, this is easier for her: it's not attacking her. She falls back on trusted instincts.]

Maybe he is doing this to impress me... but I should think there is more to it, too.

[But, what he said earlier... that people shouldn't be alone... Her eyes widen, slightly, even as she speaks and begins to realize.]

Don't delude yourself. [The shadow speaks right to Mami, and then continues to mock Yosuke.]

Some high-brow celebrity right from Citadel, how lucky can a guy get? All that training you've been doing, it's a real thorn in your side isn't it? You're still the loser who wants his time to shine. Get stronger to impress the girl and be a hero! Didn't we go over this before? You don't care about anything else. You hate that you got dragged to Union, to take over Junes, you'd rather have some fun! That's why you're here, right?

[Anger boils over from Yosuke, more than he can handle anymore.]

S-Stop it! That's not it at all! Mami, don't listen to this crap, he's not telling the whole story here...

What do you mean? It's all true! I'm pathetic! Ahahaha!

['I'm pathetic.' It is Yosuke -- or, at least, it's a part of Yosuke. Mami stares at the shadow for a moment, before she glances sideways at Yosuke. Her eyes widen.]

...but it's part of the truth, too.

[It's not a question, but it's said gently, rather than being an accusation. She looks back at the shadow and frowns.]

We all want selfish things sometimes. I do. You... saw that.

Ah... [His voice catches in his throat, and he turns to look at her.] Yeah, but...

[It was embarrassing beyond anything he could imagine. It was bad enough Yukiko saw some of it, but Yukiko was just his friend, and one that was incredibly understanding too. He knew that. But there were just some things about himself that he didn't want Mami to know. This, being one of them, even though deep down in his heart he knew the shade wasn't lying. Not in the slightest.]

...I know. He said some stuff earlier that was really embarrassing too. But that's not how it is, not completely. I do...sorta wanna feel special. And I'm terrified of being alone. It's like, the worst thing in the world. But no matter how many people I have around me, I always feel like I'm in a room by myself.

[He looks away, and the shadow narrows his eyes. He wasn't expecting this.]

[At this point, Mami turns and looks back at Yosuke and keeps looking at him. It's easiest that way, to focus on what she suspects matters more. The shadow's presence is felt keenly, though. She knows he is watching.]

...You said no one should feel alone, before.

[She starts to realize, then. He wasn't just interested in her. He wanted someone from his home city, too. Someone that he could be friends with.]

It isn't easy. To tell them what you're thinking. It can feel like... like they couldn't like or respect you, if they knew the truth. But... we can't live like that, either. Otherwise...

[She glances, briefly, at the shadow.]

[His gaze comes up to the look of silent fury of his shadow, unhappy with how this has turned. It wanted to be rid of Yosuke, beaten down once before but not completely gone. He stares at it for a good, hard minute, thinking. He had told her just moments ago that no one should feel alone, even though he was the one who really felt that way.]

...We'd become what that thing is. [His eyes finally fall again.] I am what he says I am. It's true. But it's not everything. That's just one part of me, that I wish didn't exist. I'm sorry Mami, I...I was interested in you at first because of who you were, but I got to know you better. And...

[His shadow starts to fade, the more he talks, and the more he shares the truth with her.]

[Her breath catches. She knew, of course, that he liked her more as he got to know her. She didn't have any illusion that her reputation was what made him interested at first. But it's different to hear it.]

...And you came to care for me regardless of that? It's... we all want things that are selfish, sometimes. Or, perhaps, they start as selfish.

Yeah. I guess you're right about that. It sucks...to admit that. [The shade continues to fade, and Yosuke barely even notices until it finally fades away into nothingness. Before, they'd only beaten back, but it's not until now that he finally is able to overcome it.]

But everyone's like that. I don't think we'd be human if we didn't all have selfish wishes sometimes. Even if we don't like to recognize that's the case. [He hangs his head, takes a deep breath, before lifting it again. He won't stare at the ground anymore.]

It's...okay to be like that too. We all want to be happy, right? You could say just doing what makes us happy is a little selfish all in itself- even if the acts themselves aren't always selfish. I guess that doesn't make any sense, does it? [Yosuke trips up on his words, trying to wrap his head around everything.]

...Our wishes are often selfish. They're something that we want for our own happiness. Even when they benefit others, they're partly about us. [She looks up at him, her eyes meeting his, and she's silent for a moment.] They don't always work out the way we want. They can hurt others, because of that selfishness. But...

[She bites her lip.]

...If we ignore them entirely, then we become unhappy. That, too, can be selfish. We hurt the people who care about us, when we do that.

So... [He can feel the weight of the conversation coming down on him, and he looks over to the side to see that the shadow of himself that had been tormenting him had vanished. He wears a sad smile for a second, before making himself brighten up a little despite the situation. Winking at her, he continues.]

No more worrying about that kind of stuff, right? That's just part of who we are, and it's okay to want to be happy. Let's work on it instead of letting it rip us apart on the inside.

[Because that's how he felt a moment ago, the voice of his other self still echoing in his mind.]

Mm.

[She nods, smiling up at him. Then, she thinks better of simply agreeing.] It may not be so easily done, but... I'll do my best. [She'll slip. She doesn't doubt that. She'll have to reconcile it with her tasks as a Valkyrie -- hardly easy -- but it's an important first step. Mami walks forward and hugs him again, tightly.]

[After a moment of that, she pulls back.]

We should start making our way out of here, I think.

We both will.

[He hugs Mami back, her warmth welcome and giving him a safe feeling that he can't say he's ever experienced before with anyone else. That and a solidified determination to push forward. What they'd seen was important today, to discover something more about themselves, and about each other. That fact doesn't escape him while he looks around for an exit.]

I don't think I want to spend another second in here. If the walls start shifting again, I just might piss myself...I haven't gone to the bathroom yet.

Descent into Darkness

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It's PMMM so angst just leaks on everything, ever

IT'S OKAY i know but that's why it's so great

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hey look it got better OH NO I LIED

DO YOU SEE MY HEART CRUSHED ON THE DANCE FLOOR RIGHT NOW

IT GIVES ME MY POWER

YEAH I SEE THAT and just let me know when you're ready for angst part 2

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end here?