Descent into Darkness

[bravenewmods]

As the characters arrive, they will find what appears to be a rather deep cavern. Upon entering, the caverns are quite narrow, with twists and turns everywhere and different tunnels that all seem to be interconnected. As characters travel deeper within the caverns, reality around them will start to warp, they will start to see and hear things that aren’t necessarily there - images of old enemies, past failures, voices of condemnation, visions that strike at the soul and core of the characters. Once this begins, it will only increase in power and volume, demanding it be confronted, lest they be trapped within these caves forever.

[OOC: This event will run for a week. All characters who enter the caves will be subject to some of their deepest fears, darkest demons, and most abject failures. To overcome them, characters must help each other out, finding their purpose through strength of character and resolve to move forward. In general, these visions should require characters to come to grips with themselves. Illusory images and voices can and will appear and can take any number of forms, depending on what is most appropriate to a character. Additionally, characters may thread with each other and are encouraged to help each other out to overcome these personal demons. For those who wish to take part, they are able and encouraged to narrate their own personal demons, which will be on display for everyone who enters their thread. IC threads may be made in this post.]

Comments

[nippy]

That's not it!

[ this isn't supposed to happen, people should be cautious around him, they should be scared. he jerks away from Lux, but his voice is desperate and frantic despite the shouting, and he curls in on himself defensively. even though he's angry, it isn't at her - frustrated, maybe, which doesn't matter at all because it's eclipsed so greatly by his fury at the Moon Man, at himself, at all of this. ]

If you don't go, I'm gonna hurt you even if I don't want to. This isn't about not fitting in, I was alone because of me! Because I'm not safe, because I can't be around people without this happening and there was nothing else I could do, so I just stayed away! And now— now sometimes I kind of wish I hadn't come back!

[ he whirls on the Mage, eyes wild. ] That's it, right?! That's what you meant when you said I don't want to be a person? Well, I DON'T! I'm sick of everyone just ignoring what I am and pretending I can be what they want! What, it's not bad enough that I lost myself once already, now I get this too?! All it does is make me feel like no one is ever listening to me, or even seeing me! Ignoring what I am doesn't make it go away!

[ Jack and the Moon Man stare at each other in silence as the last of Jack's screams ring out and fade away. on his next exhale, all of Jack's breath leaves him in a great rush, a whoosh of air that comes out with a small, quiet: oh. he presses both of his trembling hands hard over his heart. there is too much happening in his chest, the blazing coldness and gaping hollow inside his ribcage, his lungs aching with exhaustion, and now his heart just - hurts, for some reason. what if things aren't okay? they are, he starts to tell himself immediately, he's fine and everything is fine; everything that has happened is okay, he can handle it, it's never been that bad and he doesn't even need to think about it, but...

ignoring it doesn't make it go away. right? not his Homunculus nature, and not anything else; not the terrifying void that he falls into when he thinks too long about himself, not the loneliness or the anger or the fear, not every little thing that is wrong with him. ]

It doesn't...

[ladyofluminosity]

[ The cold stings her face, stings her eyes, but there's something else too. Tears? His words were so raw, so real, that they even made her a bit emotional. She would never understand the pain that he went through, not a single iota, and it hurt to see him like this. She hardly knew him, it shouldn't have affected her that much, and yet it did.

She knew what she had to do, the moment she got him out of those damned caves.

Lux stopped cold, staring at him, taking the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. His words held her, and without realizing, she put a hand to her mouth. Expectations. Obligations. That deep desire to be the person everyone else wanted him to be. That was why she was getting emotional. It was the same. It was so very different, but very much the same.

Letting him scream out his frustrations, she saw him start to quiet, and slowly moved to his side again. Lux didn't say a word, giving him a few feet of space. She was shivering now from the cold, but it hardly registered in her mind. There were more important things. ]

[nippy]

[ the Moon Man speaks up again, soft: ] Jack—

I get it! Just— shut up, you made your point! Leave me alone!

[ it's hyper-focus. that's what it's always been, isn't it? putting all of his attention, all of himself, towards just one thing to the exclusion of anything and everything else because it's so much easier that way. finding the Moon Man. researching the Homunculi. trying to save the victims of Sanctuary. and there's no other way that he could do it (he is horrified by the thought of spending all that time alone in the forest thinking about how he feels, not just the bad nights but every night, every day, for three whole years) but now he can't anymore because this thing has ruined it. no matter how hard he focuses on the things that actually matter, he will always have the knowledge of what it is doing to him, what it has already done to him. he didn't want to know this. everything was fine before.

and now, maybe it's not.

he jack-knifes into himself and his legs give out. shuddering, his staff clatters to the ground, and he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, tries to breathe. damn it. damn him, damn all of this, why. ]

... I'm so messed up.

[ for a long moment, Jack says nothing else, makes no noise other than his heaving, stuttering breaths, the sound of someone balanced on the fine edge between composure and hysteria. in the silence, although it takes him a while to notice, there is something else noticeably wrong - the Mage hasn't said a word.

because he's gone. all of it is gone, they're sitting here in a regular cave, surrounded by haphazard constructs of ice and patches of frost, so much coldness pouring off Jack that a mist is starting to form across the ground.

Lux's vision had crumbled when she had overcome the fears and the binds that had held her to the memory of that time in her life. it was so... storybook in its conclusion, like it had been leading her there all along, waiting for her to find the way out. she felt trapped, so it set her up in an illusion of her at her most helpless in her memory. she resolved to be in control of her life and broke free. Jack has been thinking about this ever since the two of them left that illusion behind, so it doesn't take long for him to realise what this might mean for his own visions - and when the possibilities click, he starts to laugh. slow and quiet, at first, hunched over, with his hands still over his face. as it builds, the ridiculousness and horror and how pathetic this is dawning on him, he tips over that knife edge and tumbles into hysteria; he lets his head hang back and he just laughs helplessly.

this was so stupid. gods, it didn't even help! this is only going to make things hard, and he doesn't want hard. there isn't even anything he can do about it, because it's not like he's going to stop wanting his memories back or looking for the Moon Man, but he gets what the spectre was saying, he can see it now - whenever people try to understand it just makes him angry because of the things they assume, frustrated that they can't get it and he can't explain it to them. ]

Are— Are you kidding me? [ there is outrage and incredulity in his voice, but that broken edge of humour is still there, and he is grinning wide. ] That was my big moment? That's what all of this was about? "Wow, Jack, you're a screw-up!"

[ladyofluminosity]

[ Lux saw it happening just before it did, his body crumpling in on itself. It was no longer a question of giving him space, the blond moving quickly to crouch by his side. She couldn't catch him--not in her state--and judging from his initial reaction when she tried to embrace him, anything beyond very basic physical contact might send him on an even deeper spiral.

She reached out her left hand, placing it firmly on his shoulder, letting him cry it out. It hurt to see him like this, knowing there was nothing she could do but listen and be there. Was that enough? She didn't think so. ]

It's okay...

[ Her voice was soft, encouraging, although she wasn't sure he would actually hear her words. She scarcely noticed the illusionary prison fading into nonexistence, that once it had completely disappeared, she was left a bit stunned.

...It didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair, and Jack's frustrations only solidified that fact. He should have gotten closure, something to look forward to, to move toward. Not this. ]

You're not a screw-up.

[ She gripped his shoulder firmly. ]

You're not...

[nippy]

[ touch is so strange. it isn't even against his skin but his nerves tingle under the pressure and warmth of her hand; he leans into it gratefully, but he's glad she didn't hug him this time, because that's— that much contact all at once makes him feel brittle, fragile, like his bones are too thin and he's too small and he'll just shake himself to pieces. he can cope with this. he can handle slow, careful doses.

but other than thinking about the effect of her touch, taking it in and trying to decipher the feeling so that his mind ticks over and calms down from this frenzy... he isn't sure what to do. even if he wanted to talk about this (he doesn't) there's no way he could. he just screamed at that stupid illusion about how sick he is of trying to make people understand, and now he feels like he'll be too aware of any missteps that Lux makes in the conversation. every minor pang of irritation will feel like an arrow through his gut, any anger amplified because he's so worked up about everything.

so he just scrubs his hands over his face to wipe away tears (like a child, unashamed, like someone who has no awareness of a social insistence on manners, maturity, etiquette) and he mumbles, small and wretched: ]

Your fingers are gonna go numb if you hold on too long.

[ladyofluminosity]

[ The storm was over, she knew, and the adrenaline rush she was feeling was beginning to abate. The cold dulled the pain she felt a bit, so for that she was thankful. Large doses might prove problematic, but that hardly mattered to her at this point.

Lux smiled gently, as much as she could muster, leaning a bit so he could see her face. She sighed, an amused little noise as he tried his best to put up a strong front. ]

I'll survive. Don't worry about me, okay?

[ She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before letting her hand fall away. Using her left arm to help herself up, she held her hand out to him. ]

What do you say we get out of here? Come on. I think we've both had enough of this place.