bravenewworld | Sometimes you just gotta talk it out. [Closed]

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Sometimes you just gotta talk it out. [Closed]

Who: Yuuna, Feliks, Waver

Where: Just outside Union

What: A conversation that needs to happen

When: September, pre-event.

[It’d been ages since they’d last talked. Since the incident with the frogs. Not a lot had really happened, but it was weird around Feliks now, Yuuna thought. And quite frankly, she was a little tired of not knowing where they stood. So, she resolved to take the next opportunity she had to talk to him. Regardless of what was going on, she was going to talk to him.

Of course, that would be the time she’d called Waver up to do a little analysis of her newfound abilities. But he was late, presumably dealing with the trouble that was that nosy mushroom. Still, she refused to put it off any longer and hopefully Waver won’t be walking into another argument.

So, Yuuna waves and jogs over to Feliks as he prepares to head back through the gate. Strands of her hair are standing a bit on end, the weather playing havoc with her poor control over her lightning, but other than that? She looks a bit nervous.]

Uh, Hey. Feliks? You got a minute?

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[It wasn't that she wasn't wanting to go on. But she didn't want to have this conversation in front of Waver. He really didn't. It wasn't like he was involved, and half the damn city knew they were on the outs.

She puts a fist on her hip and turns to Waver, looking down at him and taking a deep breath.

Fuck it. Waver wasn't the sort to let these things lie. Why not. Why not just tell him.]

Feliks has been refusing to talk to me for months. I was trying to talk to him again, and...here we are. Not talking again.

[Feliks bristles, lashing out without time for thought.]

Oh, yeah, sure. Make it sound like it was all my fault! Like you didn't do anything!

[...Right, but does he really even want Waver to know what she did? He'd have to know about the context, for that.]

...Don't you dare tell him any more, Yuuna. He doesn't... he doesn't have to know about it!

--Don't talk about me like I'm not here.

[The snappish reply was automatic. For the first time since entering Union, he felt like an outsider...and he didn't like that.]

What don't I have to know about, Feliks? And why are you refusing to talk to Yuuna?

[Yuuna bristled right back, shooting Feliks a look. Well now she was going to tell Waver, whether Feliks liked it or not.]

Feliks's boyfriend disappeared a year ago. Vanished into the wilderness.

[Her anger wilts a little and she sags forward.]

We looked for him for months. The Rangers, I mean. But after months, after a bad winter and a nasty late spring and still no sign of him? I gave up.

[She looks at Feliks now, stepping clear of him and setting a hand on Geshiko's head.]

I was helping Feliks anyway, making sure he had food. But when summer started and there was still nothing? I...said that he was probably dead. I tried being gentle, but he just wouldn't hear it. I lost my temper when he got angry, and since then...we have barely said ten words to one another. I still look for Fai every time I go out, but I still have no leads. And it's been more than a year.

It's not that I don't care. But...Waver, you know me. Feliks has been nearly killing himself for a year now...and I was worried.

[Even back during the negotiations with Sanctuary, Waver has never seen Feliks quite this angry.]

Yuuna? Shut up.

Waver, just... don't listen to her. I'm fine, ok? I don't need any more people worrying about me!

[They only seem to hurt him when they do, anyway.]

[The pain and hurt was easily recognizeable in Feliks' eyes. It was the same look Waver had caught before-- a flash here or there when conversations made a certain turn-- but he had always let it go before. Whatever it was that had happened, Waver was going to respect Feliks' wish to not speak of it.

He wasn't aware of how widespread this information was, and Yuuna's words...]

...You don't look very fine right now, [he intoned, nodding gratefully at Yuuna for explaining. It was a terrible situation, one that he couldn't even imagine, but staying stuck in the same psychological place for so long was far from healthy.

It needed to stop.]

All that you look like you're doing is pushing people away and making it harder to live in a nosey city like this. Do you think that this is the kind of life that he'd want for you?

[The identity of who 'he' was should be apparent to anyone who knew more of the situation than Waver did.]

Edited 2015-09-23 04:10 (UTC)

No.

[It's all she says to Feliks, her voice flat and hard as iron. She was angry too, in a different way. Tired of seeing someone she cared about running himself into the ground, letting something run roughshod over him. There was a time for moving on, for healing, and he was just throwing away his life on something she's not sure could ever happen again.

And even if Fai did return who's to say he'd remember? That happened as often as not...]

He's not fine, Waver. Hell, he wasn't eating until I had his Pokemon in the habitat start carrying it out to him. And I've found him injured and sick in the wilderness at least once. Twice if you count the incident with the Snorlax.

I've just been trying to help. That's what friends do.

Edited 2015-09-23 04:25 (UTC)

Then we're not friends. What part of "I don't want your help" don't you get? I don't need anyone acting like they're going to save me!

And I swear by every god, the next person I hear go on about "what he'd want for you" as if they give one miserable, twitching Rattata's tail about him...!

[Waver listened to the harsh words in silence, counting his breaths while he considered the tempo and cadence in Feliks' tone, his own anger flaring with every foolhardy exclamation. Enough was enough, he decided. Even if it wasn't his place to say.

Moving without thinking, Waver closed the distance between them in a single step-- and he sharply backhanded Feliks across the cheek.

Have you even bothered listening to the words you're saying, you self-absorbed idiot!?

[He was yelling now, and he didn't care. Friends were a rare commodity for him, and he wasn't about to let go of one so quickly.]

Of course everyone's worried about you. You're the most well known and popular person in the city! And this isn't even about your vanished boyfriend, it's about you. I know how much this sort of thing hurts, but now you're just hurting yourself!

[That reaction straight up stuns Yuuna. Waver...just slapped someone?

Holy shit...this was going to go in a whole different direction than she'd thought, so she remains silent, waiting...]

[Feliks is just as stunned as Yuuna, if not substantially more so. His fists clench with the instinctive urge to defend himself, but it's Waver, so he holds himself back, just this once. It's hard to tell at this point if it's fury or despair making his eyes water.]

It's not about me! I'm not the one who's lost and everyone's given up on them!

[They were allowed to be as stunned as they wanted-- but Waver was on a roll.]

You are lost!

[His fists clenched by his sides as well, and his eyes flashed in rage.]

You're just so lost that you can't see it, and we can only worry about what's in front of us today. Those who knew your boyfriend undoubtedly miss him too, but you can't worry about things that you can't control!

I'm right here.

I'm not gonna give up because of stupid things like that! I don't care about the odds --

[He spits the word out like it's poison, like it's the vilest pejorative he can think of.]

-- I'm not about to throw in the towel and turn my back on him, or Yuui, either! You can't control anything if you're not willing to try!

[He's about to panic. He might be panicking already? He can feel it, welling up in his chest, swelling like a balloon and making everything in him feel too crowded, too tight, ready to burst at any moment.]

--Even if you try, there are just some things that you can't control!

[He could see the panic in Feliks' eyes, he could feel his own heart pounding in his chest.]

No one is telling you to forget about anyone. They're just telling you to take care of yourself. Or, are you so much of an idiot that you can't see that either?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Break it up, guys.

[Okay this is getting a little out of hand. She knows the signs of panic in Feliks, and she knows the signs of Waver going to far. Stepping between them, she puts her palms out, parting them by force if required. It's easier having grown seven inches.]

Waver, calm down. Seriously, don't just start slapping people! You can't do that!

[And whirling to Feliks, she says in a softer voice.]

And it was never about giving up. You can go out every day and look. I still do, for everyone who's lost, but look, Waver's right. I'm just worried about you. As much as Fai and Yuui. Seriously, it's been like you vanished like they did, months ago.

Only, I can see you...and that makes it that much worse.

I definitely won't be able to if I don't try! And I don't need to take care of myself more -- I'm doing fine, I'm eating, I'm sleeping, I'm coming back to the city now and then even when we're not like having a crisis or anything -- Savior, Yuuna, did you have to tell him, I just wanted it to not be like this with one friend, I just wanted one person it could be simple with for once --

[Some of the fight goes out of him when Yuuna interrupts, and everything else seems to sort of go out along with it -- the movement, the light in his eyes, the animation in his voice. He's been tired for months and months, and sometimes anger is all he has to prop himself up with.]

...I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about, I'm not going anywhere.

Thank you, Yuuna.

[Waver heaved a sigh, and tried to regain control of his breathing despite feeling like there were butterfrees dancing in his chest. Seeing Feliks like this was hard...it was almost like Waver was meeting an entirely different person on that pathway in the forest.]

...Feliks, [he began, relaxing his stance as he tried to approach the problem diplomatically.] Friends are supposed to worry about each other, aren't they? Isn't Yuuna just doing her job, as both a Ranger and a friend?

Because he would find out eventually anyway.

[It's all she can say. She's not sure what else to say at this point, but she's trying to stand firm, despite her bowed head.]

[Feliks draws back from both of them, combing his fingers through his Rapidash's fur in an effort to calm himself and the Pokemon (who's been rather upset by all these goings-on) down.]

He didn't need to know.

[Gods, he's exhausted. He thinks that he just wants to go home, but he woke up one morning and home had disappeared out of his bed, and he's been looking for it ever since.]

Worrying isn't gonna help anyone. Definitely not me.

....She's right, you know. It's hard to keep secrets in a city like this.

[The people of Union were nosey, stubborn, and didn't know when to give up. It was both their greatest weakness, and their greatest strength.

Waver grabbed at his warp band, comforted by it's silent presence on his arm and what it represented. He hadn't forgotten Yuuna's words during his first week within the city, and how that sentiment was echoed everywhere that was touched by the culture that had spread across the land.

The sentiment was even echoed in it' name. Union.]

That's not a bad thing, either. Secrets can only cause problems and divide people.

Besides... [he trailed, glancing away in his hesitation.] I already suspected there was something wrong, and I have for a while. You're not as good at hiding things as you think.

Edited 2015-09-23 18:12 (UTC)

[Yuuna’s eyes tighten, her whole body tense as a coiled Ekans, and Geshiko nudges her back, the robe rustling against her jacket. The frog was also upset, bothered by all the shouting and the tension so thick she could run a claw through it. But she said nothing, she left this for the humans, despite having an intense desire to punch all three of them.

Yuuna knew what Waver was thinking, he’d brought it up often enough, and it shown though his words. And he was right, too. Secrets did divide people. Internally, she had to laugh a bit, because he was right about that too. Feliks and secrets were like Muk and Water, they just didn’t mix too well.]

He’s right, Feliks. There’s no way he didn’t know something was wrong. With you being gone most of the time. Yeah…you do come back when you have to and that’s improvement but to your friends?

It’s like you’re missing too. And all we want is to make sure you’re okay. Even if you don’t think it helps, we’re going to anyway. The same way you’re worried about Fai and Yuui. And the same way that they’d act about you worrying about them.

[That really was the heart of the matter for her. It was like he’d died along with them. Like he’d vanished into the wilderness and never come back. ]

[It's still hard to think about him too directly. When he allows himself to think of anything more specific than just the need to find him, when he thinks of how no one else has ever understood him and shared the things he loves so effortlessly, or remembers playing dress-up in the fancy clothing stores and picnics out in the wilderness and cuddling in the grass, of sneaking out of noble parties together, the loss becomes too much, too raw and too deep to bear.]

[And the longer people insist on talking about it, the more the memories and the grief come up to the surface, no matter how hard he tries to fight them. He thinks of Death on outstretched wings, with cold blue eyes, sucking all the life out of the air itself -- not him, not him, please not him, anyone else...]

[How is he supposed to be okay? How can they even ask that of him?]

[His face is wet, and his breathing is wrong, nothing at all and then too much at once. It takes him a moment or two to figure out why.]

I don't -- I don't need your pity! I don't want it! Just...

[Just what? Leave him alone? He doesn't want that, especially not from Waver, but what does he want?]

[...This wasn't right. Feliks was supposed to be bubbly, throwing sparkles everywhere because of his giggles and his exhuberace. Waver sucked in a breath, at a loss for what to do.

Friendships were new territory for him. Books had always been his companion, not people.

He was out of his depth.

A little nudge against his cheek drew him back to the present. Orpheus, still sitting on his shoulder and watching the drama unfold, nudged Waver again and motioned toward Feliks with a delicate little motion. Being unable to read minds, Waver could only guess at the meaning.

But he knew Orpheus well enough to get the point.

Releasing a breath he didn't realize that he had been holding, Waver reached out to pull Feliks into a hug.]

It's not about pity, you idiot. It's about being friends. So just stop complaining about and let us be your friends.

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