bravenewworld | Sometimes you just gotta talk it out. [Closed]

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Sometimes you just gotta talk it out. [Closed]

Who: Yuuna, Feliks, Waver

Where: Just outside Union

What: A conversation that needs to happen

When: September, pre-event.

[It’d been ages since they’d last talked. Since the incident with the frogs. Not a lot had really happened, but it was weird around Feliks now, Yuuna thought. And quite frankly, she was a little tired of not knowing where they stood. So, she resolved to take the next opportunity she had to talk to him. Regardless of what was going on, she was going to talk to him.

Of course, that would be the time she’d called Waver up to do a little analysis of her newfound abilities. But he was late, presumably dealing with the trouble that was that nosy mushroom. Still, she refused to put it off any longer and hopefully Waver won’t be walking into another argument.

So, Yuuna waves and jogs over to Feliks as he prepares to head back through the gate. Strands of her hair are standing a bit on end, the weather playing havoc with her poor control over her lightning, but other than that? She looks a bit nervous.]

Uh, Hey. Feliks? You got a minute?

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Have you even bothered listening to the words you're saying, you self-absorbed idiot!?

[He was yelling now, and he didn't care. Friends were a rare commodity for him, and he wasn't about to let go of one so quickly.]

Of course everyone's worried about you. You're the most well known and popular person in the city! And this isn't even about your vanished boyfriend, it's about you. I know how much this sort of thing hurts, but now you're just hurting yourself!

[That reaction straight up stuns Yuuna. Waver...just slapped someone?

Holy shit...this was going to go in a whole different direction than she'd thought, so she remains silent, waiting...]

[Feliks is just as stunned as Yuuna, if not substantially more so. His fists clench with the instinctive urge to defend himself, but it's Waver, so he holds himself back, just this once. It's hard to tell at this point if it's fury or despair making his eyes water.]

It's not about me! I'm not the one who's lost and everyone's given up on them!

[They were allowed to be as stunned as they wanted-- but Waver was on a roll.]

You are lost!

[His fists clenched by his sides as well, and his eyes flashed in rage.]

You're just so lost that you can't see it, and we can only worry about what's in front of us today. Those who knew your boyfriend undoubtedly miss him too, but you can't worry about things that you can't control!

I'm right here.

I'm not gonna give up because of stupid things like that! I don't care about the odds --

[He spits the word out like it's poison, like it's the vilest pejorative he can think of.]

-- I'm not about to throw in the towel and turn my back on him, or Yuui, either! You can't control anything if you're not willing to try!

[He's about to panic. He might be panicking already? He can feel it, welling up in his chest, swelling like a balloon and making everything in him feel too crowded, too tight, ready to burst at any moment.]

--Even if you try, there are just some things that you can't control!

[He could see the panic in Feliks' eyes, he could feel his own heart pounding in his chest.]

No one is telling you to forget about anyone. They're just telling you to take care of yourself. Or, are you so much of an idiot that you can't see that either?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Break it up, guys.

[Okay this is getting a little out of hand. She knows the signs of panic in Feliks, and she knows the signs of Waver going to far. Stepping between them, she puts her palms out, parting them by force if required. It's easier having grown seven inches.]

Waver, calm down. Seriously, don't just start slapping people! You can't do that!

[And whirling to Feliks, she says in a softer voice.]

And it was never about giving up. You can go out every day and look. I still do, for everyone who's lost, but look, Waver's right. I'm just worried about you. As much as Fai and Yuui. Seriously, it's been like you vanished like they did, months ago.

Only, I can see you...and that makes it that much worse.

I definitely won't be able to if I don't try! And I don't need to take care of myself more -- I'm doing fine, I'm eating, I'm sleeping, I'm coming back to the city now and then even when we're not like having a crisis or anything -- Savior, Yuuna, did you have to tell him, I just wanted it to not be like this with one friend, I just wanted one person it could be simple with for once --

[Some of the fight goes out of him when Yuuna interrupts, and everything else seems to sort of go out along with it -- the movement, the light in his eyes, the animation in his voice. He's been tired for months and months, and sometimes anger is all he has to prop himself up with.]

...I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about, I'm not going anywhere.

Thank you, Yuuna.

[Waver heaved a sigh, and tried to regain control of his breathing despite feeling like there were butterfrees dancing in his chest. Seeing Feliks like this was hard...it was almost like Waver was meeting an entirely different person on that pathway in the forest.]

...Feliks, [he began, relaxing his stance as he tried to approach the problem diplomatically.] Friends are supposed to worry about each other, aren't they? Isn't Yuuna just doing her job, as both a Ranger and a friend?

Because he would find out eventually anyway.

[It's all she can say. She's not sure what else to say at this point, but she's trying to stand firm, despite her bowed head.]

[Feliks draws back from both of them, combing his fingers through his Rapidash's fur in an effort to calm himself and the Pokemon (who's been rather upset by all these goings-on) down.]

He didn't need to know.

[Gods, he's exhausted. He thinks that he just wants to go home, but he woke up one morning and home had disappeared out of his bed, and he's been looking for it ever since.]

Worrying isn't gonna help anyone. Definitely not me.

....She's right, you know. It's hard to keep secrets in a city like this.

[The people of Union were nosey, stubborn, and didn't know when to give up. It was both their greatest weakness, and their greatest strength.

Waver grabbed at his warp band, comforted by it's silent presence on his arm and what it represented. He hadn't forgotten Yuuna's words during his first week within the city, and how that sentiment was echoed everywhere that was touched by the culture that had spread across the land.

The sentiment was even echoed in it' name. Union.]

That's not a bad thing, either. Secrets can only cause problems and divide people.

Besides... [he trailed, glancing away in his hesitation.] I already suspected there was something wrong, and I have for a while. You're not as good at hiding things as you think.

Edited 2015-09-23 18:12 (UTC)

[Yuuna’s eyes tighten, her whole body tense as a coiled Ekans, and Geshiko nudges her back, the robe rustling against her jacket. The frog was also upset, bothered by all the shouting and the tension so thick she could run a claw through it. But she said nothing, she left this for the humans, despite having an intense desire to punch all three of them.

Yuuna knew what Waver was thinking, he’d brought it up often enough, and it shown though his words. And he was right, too. Secrets did divide people. Internally, she had to laugh a bit, because he was right about that too. Feliks and secrets were like Muk and Water, they just didn’t mix too well.]

He’s right, Feliks. There’s no way he didn’t know something was wrong. With you being gone most of the time. Yeah…you do come back when you have to and that’s improvement but to your friends?

It’s like you’re missing too. And all we want is to make sure you’re okay. Even if you don’t think it helps, we’re going to anyway. The same way you’re worried about Fai and Yuui. And the same way that they’d act about you worrying about them.

[That really was the heart of the matter for her. It was like he’d died along with them. Like he’d vanished into the wilderness and never come back. ]

[It's still hard to think about him too directly. When he allows himself to think of anything more specific than just the need to find him, when he thinks of how no one else has ever understood him and shared the things he loves so effortlessly, or remembers playing dress-up in the fancy clothing stores and picnics out in the wilderness and cuddling in the grass, of sneaking out of noble parties together, the loss becomes too much, too raw and too deep to bear.]

[And the longer people insist on talking about it, the more the memories and the grief come up to the surface, no matter how hard he tries to fight them. He thinks of Death on outstretched wings, with cold blue eyes, sucking all the life out of the air itself -- not him, not him, please not him, anyone else...]

[How is he supposed to be okay? How can they even ask that of him?]

[His face is wet, and his breathing is wrong, nothing at all and then too much at once. It takes him a moment or two to figure out why.]

I don't -- I don't need your pity! I don't want it! Just...

[Just what? Leave him alone? He doesn't want that, especially not from Waver, but what does he want?]

[...This wasn't right. Feliks was supposed to be bubbly, throwing sparkles everywhere because of his giggles and his exhuberace. Waver sucked in a breath, at a loss for what to do.

Friendships were new territory for him. Books had always been his companion, not people.

He was out of his depth.

A little nudge against his cheek drew him back to the present. Orpheus, still sitting on his shoulder and watching the drama unfold, nudged Waver again and motioned toward Feliks with a delicate little motion. Being unable to read minds, Waver could only guess at the meaning.

But he knew Orpheus well enough to get the point.

Releasing a breath he didn't realize that he had been holding, Waver reached out to pull Feliks into a hug.]

It's not about pity, you idiot. It's about being friends. So just stop complaining about and let us be your friends.

Waver's right. It's not pity.

[She stood there for a moment, arms crossed, unsure of how exactly to proceed. She could feel some of the tension leaving Feliks a bit, though, it was Waver that surprised her. Hugging someone? Of his own accord? Usually he was squirming and trying to wriggle free like an Eelektrik, not pulling someone in.

But when it happens? She too expels a breath, and steps in behind Feliks to pull both of them into a big group hug. Maybe this will help some, she reasons. Savior knows Feliks can use a hug. Savior knows they all could, anymore, with all the insanity around them, but him most of all.

Waver was right. He was supposed to be sparkles and giggles and stupid hats and tea parties. Not standing up to Death itself, or facing down an enemy charge. Sure he'd protest that, she knew, but that wasn't what Feliks was best at. He was a gentler person than she could ever be, and less jaded than Waver. It didn't detract from him, it was just...well...it was him.]

It's because we love you, Feliks.

Edited 2015-09-23 21:41 (UTC)

You... I-I... I don't need...

[He only manages to choke the a few words out, can't even string them into a proper thought. Waver actually hugging him is somehow more unexpected than the slap was, and it shuts him up with no idea of what else he can say. Yuuna doing the same is even more confusing than that.]

[The way Feliks sees it, he's always been a fighter. He's always stood up to every bully in his way, and never let it take the sparkles and giggles and and warm-hearted exuberance out of him. Armies and rampaging gods, even death incarnate -- they're bigger, but no different to him, in the end. He's as fearless as he is shameless.]

[But grief -- you can't look grief in the eye and tell it you're not afraid of it. You can't out-stubborn the pain of waking up in a world with a big hole in it day after day after day. It just keeps hurting, no matter how hard he tries to fight it, and he has no idea what to do.]

[His knees go weak, and, feeling like a lost child, he buries his face in Waver's shoulder and just cries, with big gasping sobs that seem to shake his whole body.]

[Waver froze when the sobbing started, feeling helpless in watching his friend's grief. He stood stock still, awkwardly patting Feliks' shoulders while he cried his feelings out.

It seemed like the right thing to do.

No words were said-- not because he didn't understand what Feliks was feeling, but because he knew that pain all too well from his own life. But pretty words didn't seem entirely appropriate, at least coming from him.

Feliks had wanted someone who wouldn't coddle him about this entire affair. Waver would do just that, and instead offer quiet support to take it's place.

That was all he had the right to do.]

[It's really a good thing that Yuuna has such long arms, because she's wrapping up both of them in her own. Waver...she's really, really grateful for him coming here today. And she can finally, finally see some sort of resolution to this mess with Feliks.

She doesn't want him to forget, she just wants him to...exist beyond his grief. Because she's been there, she knows what it's like to lose a friend. Most of them know it, but she's never seen anyone quite so consumed by it.

Not that it's important. Words aren't either. What matters now is just being there, hands around both of them, letting them know she's here.]

[It takes a while. He has a lot to cry out -- months of pushing everyone away, and of fruitless searching, and of trying desperately not to think about how much he missed him. He's been getting a little better, here and there -- being friends with Waver and being able to just be happy around him was a definite improvement -- but it's been a year since he's really been okay.]

...I'm not going to stop looking for him.

[Even if they did let him cry all over them.]

....Then don't be dumb and go out alone.

[Because it would be impossible to stop Feliks, and Waver knew that. His shirt was soaked from the torrent of tears, but he didn't care.

Feliks was talking to them....and that was good.]

You shouldn't. I haven't...every time I go out I still do.

[She rubs a hand along Feliks' back.]

Just...yeah. Don't shut us out, dude. We're here for you.

No one else wants to go out as often as I do.

[There were months when he hardly came back at all, just often enough to shut down any rumors that he'd disappeared, too. And lately, he comes back much more, and lets people know when he's going... Isn't that enough?]

And I can take care of myself out there.

[But he doesn't push either of them away. After a long moment, still shaking a little when he tries to breathe, he mumbles:]

...I really miss him.

[That's been obvious to the entirety of Union from Day 1, but this might be the first time he's let himself say it. It hurts, but maybe it hurts like setting a broken bone.]

...Yes. We've seen that for a long time.

[Even an outsider like Waver could see that there had been something lurking in the background of Feliks' mind. It wasn't hard.]

Just ask someone next time you want to go out. You might be surprised at who would walk with you.

[Waver would go along. He wanted to see the rest of the world, and helping a friend offered the best excuse to do so.]

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