bravenewworld | 003 • [Video / Action]

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003 • [Video / Action]

[Feliks turns on the feed with a cheerful wave and an adjustment of his hair. From inside his coat, where she seems to have made her home, his baby Dratini gives a happy little peep of greeting.]

Hey! So like, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm totally gonna join this tournament thing, and I'm gonna rock it. My Pokémon friends and I are working on some sweet new moves this week, check us out!

[He angles the camera towards the clearing in the woods where he's set up camp. His Houndour, Emilia, is perhaps a little over-enthusiastically savaging a practice dummy, while Jadwiga the Ralts sits in a meditative stance, juggling rocks with her mind, and Krystyna the Vulpix works on her flames. He turns the camera back at himself.]

They're all pretty badass, so like, whoever's up against us should be ready!

[Something tugs at his sleeve, and when he turns to look at her, the camera gets bumped down enough to show Danuta the Mienfoo, looking unamused. Any Kindred Souls out there will hear her scolding Feliks for slacking off talking to his human friends; he doesn't speak Pokémon himself, but he laughs, scratching her ears.]

Okay, looks like I should get back to work, too! Ancient gods, you're so serious...

[He and his team are doing intensive training this week, but he'll get back to his replies when he can, or anyone passing through the woods can feel free to stumble in on them!]

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[Fai makes a soft little noise, shifting closer.]

I wish they did have faith in me, though. As in, not faith in that I'll do what they want, but that I'll do... what I think is the right thing. [He sighs.] I mean, they can be dumb and sometimes crazy, but they're still my family.

[But then he smiles, running his thumb along Feliks' knuckles.] But I'm glad you believe in me. It means a lot.

They're super dumb if they can't get how awesome you are. Why don't we just send them a little blond hand-puppet? It'd be the perfect son!

[Yes, he gets a bit irrational in defense of people he likes. Also, Fai's family sucks, save Yuui.]

[That actually makes Fai wince visibly, both hurt and shock registering on his face before he curls up a bit. That might not have been the most sensitive thing to say, Feliks.]

I guess. But I... don't want to think about it like that. I want them to love me for me, underneath all the stupid things they want for me. I want to believe that they think they're doing it for my own good. I don't want them to think I'd be better if I always did what they said.

[His voice is swaying pretty heavily at the end there. Jadwiga, this might be a good time to give Feliks a small kick.]

[No, there's no need for her help. As little as he understands about social cues and what not to say, Feliks can see that Fai's upset by his words; his own face registers shock for a moment, then he looks away, squeezing Fai's hand a little.]

I didn't mean it like...

I mean... All I meant was, like, anyone who refuses to see how awesome you are is totally the one missing out. And... And like, that you're kinda amazing no matter who realizes it, you know? I...

[Is this making it worse? Should he just, like, never speak again?]

[For a while Fai doesn't say anything, just struggles with his own undirected anger at everything's unfairness, and the hurt that he knows that Feliks didn't mean to cause. Then he shifts a little bit closer, until he can rest his cheek against the other boy's shoulder.]

I know. It's just that sometimes I think the exact same thing because I'm angry, and then when someone else says it... I wonder if it's true, you know? I wonder if they'd actually love me more if I was more like they want me to be.

[He makes a small sound that is probably supposed to be a laugh, but it doesn't much sound like it.]

But I know you didn't mean it like that. I can't exactly be upset with you for feeling the way I wish they did about me, can I? Not "I love you in spite of being you", but "I love you because you're you".

[Fai probably doesn't even realize how that came out. Shhh.]

[The natural thing to do with Jadwiga when she leans against his shoulder is to hold her, and so he does the same with Fai, wrapping his arms around the taller boy and pressing him gently to his own chest.]

[It's a move he regrets the instant Fai uses the l-word, and more when he realizes it doesn't feel untrue. What the Hell? Oh, gods, Fai has to be able to hear the weird stuff his heart is getting up to all of a sudden.]

I-- [No, Feliks, calm down, just pretend everything is normal! Everything is totally normal, ok?!]

You totally deserve it, you know. You have a lot to like!

[It feels good to be held like that, safe and familiar. A little bit like Yuui and a little bit like Imogen, but also like something he can't quite put a name to and that is uniquely Feliks.]

[Whatever it is, the impulse to press himself a little bit closer, to snake an arm around Feliks' waist, is a bit too strong to resist.]

Thank you. I mean, when you say it, I actually believe you think so. That you're not making exceptions in your head. But not like you'd like me even if I was a complete idiot or a really bad person, either. [Because that's sadly the problem with having a twin that really would love you no matter what.]

And you know I feel the same, right? I feel about you like you feel about me. [From Fai's point of view, that's not entirely true, but Feliks doesn't need to know that.]

[Feliks doubts that. He like, really doubts that. Since when has anyone ever felt that way about him, right?]

[All the same, it's comforting to feel liked. He presses his face into Fai's hair a little, curling around his torso protectively.]

Yeah, if you were a jerk or something, we couldn't hang out. But you're totally not, so it's like, no problem, you know?

[Fai makes a soft little noise, a bit more like actual laughter this time, and the way Feliks can say something like that with such conviction... well, for a moment it actually takes away all the things he normally uses to beat himself up with.]

[And maybe that is what stops him from thinking it over when he tilts his head up to smile at Feliks and once again ends up more or less nose-to-nose with him. And suddenly there is no way of pulling back that wouldn't seem even more suspicious and awkward, and he's really not sure what he should be doing next.]

I- I'll remind myself not to be a complete loser, then. I like you a bit too much. [It's very hard to come up with coherrent things to say with Feliks' breath on his lips, okay?]

[Why is he right there? Why is he so close? Feliks feels a jolt of panic, his eyes going wide in confusion. He laughs, shy and nervous--gods, with Fai so close, it almost seems like... That's so totally unfair.]

[With a mischievous smile, he kisses him on the cheek, half because he wants to and half because it's a clear sign of not chickening out right now. He wants to do more, but--but he's never managed to make friends with another guy before, and doesn't want to throw it away.]

Okay--cool, then! You're just gonna have to keep being rad.

[No matter how hard he fights to seem completely unmoved and cool, nothing in the worl appears able to stop his breath from jumping funnily when Feliks' lips brush against his cheek. God, couldn't he just... Feliks' lips are right there, looking just as soft and warm as they felt against his cheek, and...

He doesn't want to remember standing in front of his parents with Lux right now. He doesn't want to remember the harsh words and the disappointment. But even if Feliks would kiss him back - and why would he? - that would mean he had to do that all over again, and that's terrifying.

He leans in and returns the favor, lips lingering a bit longer than strictly necessary against Feliks' cheek, and he feels his heart flutter. Damn, damn, damn.]

And we'll be even radder together. That is to say, our radness will be greater than the sum of its parts~.

[Shh, no worries about families now. Only sweet little cheek kisses. Have another one, courtesy of Feliks's poor impulse control!]

Right? It's almost unfair, considering how much butt we kick to start with!

[Well, that makes it okay for Fai to kiss Feliks again too, right? That's something friends do, isn't it? Admittedly it landed a bit lower and was more on Feliks' jaw than his cheek, but that's just technical details and it's still completely platonic, right?]

Mmm, it's like we're not even trying to give other people a chance to be as amazing.

[Maybe it's because everything has been so confusing and unsettling lately--earthquakes, being powerless to really help much down in the mines, his conversation with the Team Evolution guy... But in spite of how it flusters him, how new and strange all of this is to him, the clear affection of the contact is a huge comfort. He hugs Fai gently, smiling as he bumps their foreheads together.]

Oh, Savior, totally. Everybody else is just gonna have to step up their game, though, 'cause it's not like we can turn it off, you know?

[It's all still incredibly confusing, and a small part of him is is still whispering that the more he allows himself moments like this, the harder it will be to stop feeling these feelings about Feliks. But... well, it's a nice day, and he's young, and despite everything it's actually nice to feel like this about someone.]

[Surely a little while more can't hurt, right? So he rubs their noses together with a small laugh, pretending not to notice how easy it would be be to just move a little closer and seal their lips together too.]

It comes completely naturally to people like us. If people can't measure up to it, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

[He laughs, faintly enthralled with Fai's praise. Yes, cute boy, please do continue on about how awesome he is!]

[And the nuzzling thing seems a little silly at first, but he gets into it quickly enough.]

Defs. Not everyone can rock as much as us, that's totally natural!

[It's practically like kissing without actually... well, doing the kissing part! And if he leans forward just a little bit he ends up half on top of the other boy, his hair falling freely around his face to create a private little room for just the two of them.]

Then again, I bet most people are too distracted by how beautiful and elegant we are to really manage being properly heartbroken over the fact that nothing can match us, right~?

[Gods, Fai, did you have to do that? His heart and his brain just can't again. Like, his brain is going on strike, and his heart's going crazy trying to pull its weight.]

Y-yeah, for sure?

[What are words, what is breathing, what is his life?]

Edited (Autocorrect, go to your room and think about what you've done.) 2014-03-04 23:47 (UTC)

[Okay, admittedly, now that he thinks about it... this is definitely a position that would by most be conceived as considerably less innocent, even by their own socially awkward standards. But what is he supposed to do now, exactly? Jump back dramatically, blush and stumble over his excuses? He hates situations like that, can't deal with them at all, so instead he reverts to his normal mode of self protection in situations like this.]

[Regrettably, that happens to be smiling charmingly and acting as if this was what he intended all along.]

Then again, I definitely can't say I blame them. [Oh Saviour, what is he doing?]

[Words? Oh, gods, why is his smile so nice?]

[...He's not, like, heartbroken about his fiancée, right? Does that mean it's be okay to ki--NO, damn it self, having normal friendships, remember? Ugh, why is this so hard?]

Yeah?

[What exactly had Fai said, again?]

[He's being incredibly dumb. He knows he is. It's just that handling stressful situations by smiling and pretending to thrive is so instinctive to him, he's not quite sure how to stop.]

[And, well... while his brain is screaming at him to stop and that this is a really bad idea, the rest of him is unfortunately ganging up on it and trying to metaphorically shove a rag in its mouth. The rest of him wants very much to be this close to Feliks, to lower his voice just a little bit, to brush his thumb against Feliks' cheek.]

Am I talking too much? Or are you just bored with this particular conversation, hmm~? [Someone, please stop him.]

[He's going to kiss him.]

[No! No kissing the friend! Bad boy, down!]

[Okay, what if he... Panics, instead? Because he can't breathe, and self-denial is hard, and everything is confusing him?]

[Ugh, no, panicking sucks! He forces a smile, trying very much to seem normal.]

Ahaha, no way! I just, like--I think I laced something a little too tight, it's kinda hard to breathe down here...

[Well, even in the middle of his own panic, it's not like Fai can't read the signs when they're that obvious. Ancient Gods, he totally overdid it, and now Feliks is uncomfortable and probably thinks he's really creepy and sleazy, right?]

[Now he leans away a bit and makes a little bit of distance between them, even if he's dying a bit inside at having to do it. But he's not going to stay when Feliks clearly finds it skeevy, because that's just wrong.]

Sorry, I- I must've been a bit heavy, huh? Are you feeling better?

[Fai, thinking you are creepy and skeezy is absolutely not the problem here.]

I--yeah, I'm totally fine anyway! But I can breathe a little more, thanks.

[He takes the opportunity to curl against Fai's leg, to show he doesn't want to chase him away or anything. It's just that his face is really nice, and it was too close to deal with!]

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003 • [Video / Action]

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