11: action

[realmenknitplushies]

Who: Kanji and anyone who encounters him!
Where: The forest, the habitat
When: 1/19
What: A thoughtful Kanji deals with a surprise when he's out for a birthday walk - and has to deal with the consequences of his choice.

[1: Scorched Forest/Hot Springs]

Kanji's decided to spend his birthday out and about: he's taking a stroll through the Scorched Forest at the moment, looking around at the damaged scenery. A year ago, he'd never even set eyes on it. And yet now - it seems so plain, so trivial.

Everything he knows has changed. He's done some good work too, he knows: but he still feels like the same person he was before he even knew he was Enlightened. Still feels like the same person, scrapping to prove his strength in pointless ways and throwing himself into things that are just taking him further from it.

His friends have all changed, they're all making progress - what does he have to show but a few marks and a cute little design portfolio? That's not strength. He's not sure what it is - but it's not what he wants out of life.

Distracted, he hardly notices the Growlithe running out of the entrance to the springs, and almost trips over it. With a yelp, the little canine goes on the attack: Kanji blasts it away with a brief shock almost on instinct, heart rate leaping for a second as it skitters away. ... Dammit. Why did he have to scare the cute one?

Still. It's a fight, and the brief adrenalin rush -
There's a familiar glow starting to surge under his skin. He's seen it before. He knows what it means. And yet...

Now? Over that?

Something so trivial. He can't accept it. It's not right. He'd pushed himself to the limit the first time he'd evolved - for it to be something so meaningless, something that would never prove his strength -

He clenches hands that are trying to change, looks at arms that are trying to shift and the glowing aura that's suggesting what he could become-

I can't lie to myself. I'm not strong enough for this. I can't... not yet...

Pushing his willpower against the sheer rush of power - he closes his eyes. Focuses.
The light fades away, leaving the same old Kanji standing there. Same old figure, same old markings, same old pointed ears. Nothing changed.

His heart stops pounding and he stares.

"Did I... did I seriously..."

[2: Habitat]

Kanji's up in the habitat regularly. After all, with a group of Pokémon like his, he's got to find time to spend with them, and right now, he could use the company. Today, he's in the Flying-type friendly parts of the structure. Literally very much out of his element, but still...
His Swellow and Altaria are hanging around nearby, but his Pidgey's sitting on his lap as he strokes her feathers.

"...I guess I know how ya feel," he whispers, looking at her, a smile on his face. "When we're ready, right?"

She coos back - he laughs, stretching out watching the others circle overhead.

Comments

[niepokonany]

"Cool, cool..."

God, he didn't have an endgame for that particular tactic. Now at least they're not talking about what he's been doing lately, but what else could he possibly want to know about Kanji's mom?

"That dream world thing was totally the weirdest, right?"

[realmenknitplushies]

"No kiddin'. I know people were runnin' back in there almost straight away, but ..." It'd had him freaked out for ages. Seeing something trying to be her... It'd only been the last time it'd opened before he'd dared enter again. "Whole thing was messed up. Man, I'd rather have my dreams to myself."

[niepokonany]

"Not big on sharing?" he teased, emptily lighthearted, fidgeting with the grass under his fingers.

Still, thinking of how troubling the whole thing had been for him, he softened himself a little. "...It really was freaky to the max. Like, not my best moment, you know?"

[realmenknitplushies]

Kanji gives a brief snort and a glare at the first comment. But the rest? "Wasn't mine either. But, hell. We kinda had reasons t' not be thinkin' straight, right?"

[niepokonany]

Feliks is beginning to doubt his ability to just... have a conversation right now. It feels like a minefield, littered with traps like how are you and what have you been up to and other things he doesn't actually want to talk about.

Kanji's comment has him remembering the dream -- remembering the strange mockery of Fai, the way it moved, the panic of seeing him like that. It had been upsetting enough at the time, but now, with him gone...

When they were in the dream, he was all fire and courage in spite of the danger. Fear is something he knows how to conquer, something he can make himself better than.

Grief is proving more of a challenge. The memory of that part of the dream strikes at the most wounded part of him, and he flinches as if it were physical.

"...Yeah, it was pretty messed up!"

[realmenknitplushies]

"Tch. Understatement, man." He just shakes his head. That reaction, that flinch, though: sounds like it's still getting to Feliks, he thinks. Quietly, he goes on, with his best reassuring smile: "But we sorted 'em out. Ain't nothing gonna hold us down, right?"

[niepokonany]

It's precisely the kind of big-talking confidence that he projects all the time, the sort of thing that should resonate with him (and usually does). It's a little easier, right now, to hear from someone else than to try and tell himself, but something about it is still just a little hollow... He smiles just as bright as he can, but the sparkles from his Fairy typing are something he can't force or fake, and there's not so much as a hint of them.

"For sure! They totally picked the wrong guys to mess with."