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[a_gentle_boy]

[Voice, Public]
[It's well past midnight when a voice begins to sound over the network. He doesn't really know how to maintain anonymity, but he figures whispering without showing his face will work well enough.]

Someone died today.

I guess... lots of people die everyday. And probably things wouldn't work very well if it never happened. I guess it's not really fair to only care... if you have to see it.

It's -- It's not very fair at all.

...Everyone did everything right. Sometimes, doctors or nurses make mistakes, and it can be really bad, but it's not usually the sort of mistake you can't fix, either. And... you have to understand that they're working so hard that they can't be perfect all the time, too. Sometimes... it just happens.

There weren't any mistakes today.

They've only let me work with patients for a few weeks. Not alone... But I -- I was the one who told him that everything would be OK. And I watched his Pokemon when they put him in surgery. And -- ...then they came to take them away from me and they didn't say anything, but... I saw the sheet.

And I said it was going to be OK and it wasn't.

[His voice trembles a little.]

It's not fair... that you can want something so much and you can do everything right and... and none of that matters because it just goes all wrong and that's... it. That's just it. Things are a certain way and... wanting and wishing and doing won't ever change it.

...Why?

[Fourteen is a little early for an existential crisis, but here we are.]

[action, Residential District]
[Lucas's desired anonymity tonight is a little bit sabotaged by the fact that he's glowing like a lantern. In a small park in the middle of the residential district, a light shines steadily through the night, illuminating the surroundings with a gentle bluish cyan hue. Odd diamond shaped patterns run through the air and anyone who comes into contact with the blue light will feel a warm energy running through them.

At its center sits a boy, covered in the same patterns. He is hugging an Eevee close, and he sits staring at the Warp Band after he makes his call. Unbeknownst to him, his prodigious healing powers is slowly revitalizing some of the blooms half-killed by the frost, resulting in a rather strange display.

His psychic powers have always been powerful, but it will perhaps never be as incredible a display again as this, the moment he evolves.]

No one is strong from birth. You can only become strong... when put into a desperate situation. Even if you shake or cry, as long as you do not run, you will grow stronger and stronger.

If you didn't get strong, you wouldn't be able to help those in need...

Isn't that right?

That is why you promised: I must become strong.

That is why you have become who you are today...

Comments

voice.

[warriormouse]

...oh. Don't feel guilty for someone dying. Sometimes there's nothing that can be done.

[a_gentle_boy]

[He is quiet for a few moments.]

I don't know if it's really... guilty. Oh - it's that, too, but...

[It's hard to articulate his thoughts.]

There shouldn't be 'nothing that can be done'...

[warriormouse]

Sometimes it just isn't possible to save a person. And sometimes the person knows that, but it's nice to hear someone say they'll be fine. Trust me.

[a_gentle_boy]

...

But I want to save everyone.

[That probably sounds intensely childish, but he's aware of it.]

There's no good being able to have powers and to work hard and... all of that if they don't help...

[action]

[psychicsister]

[Yakumo had seen the broadcast, but honestly? She had not had a clue how to respond. Lucas was so young, and so sweet to have to deal with something like that. It's hard even thinking about it...and it prompts her to leave the house and go for a walk with Iori. It's given her a lot to think about, particularly about her current pursuit of life as a trainer. And Harima's too. Either one of them could wind up in the medical center, after all, and need Lucas or someone like him to help them recover.

It's this walk that leads the teen into the park, and leads her to follow a mysterious cerulean light. Moving closer, her senses begin to tingle, a psychic pressure building in both hers and the Meowstic's heads. She's always been sensitive to things like this, but this is somehow unreal. She's never felt this much power in one place ever, and it lends her to approach with a bit more caution, if such a thing was possible.

Creeping closer, when Yakumo and Iori find themselves looking at this display and that pulse of light with wide eyes and open mouths.]

W-Wow...

[a_gentle_boy]

[He doesn't quite notice the two at first, being wrapped up in his own thoughts as he is. It's his Eevee that senses the observers first - it nudges at Lucas until he looks up.]

Oh...

I'm sorry - is this bothering you?

[an awkward pause.]

I can't... I can't seem to turn it off right now.

[psychicsister]

[Yakumo, once spotted, manages to shut her mouth and shake her head.]

No...it's not bothering me.

[Stepping closer, cautiously, she looks the boy up and down.]

What is it? Do...Do you know?

[a_gentle_boy]

PSI... I think.

[He manages a small sort of pained smile.]

It's a type of psychic Enlightened power.

...I had to read about it in the library, but I think... that's probably right.

[ Voice ]

[makeitquick]

[ This guy sounds young to her - she also recognizes the voice a little... yeah, young. As young or younger than her when Harth died and she properly discovered her powers. Melaka frowns to herself at that little speech there, and knows that whatever she says isn't going to be the most productive thing ever. Still. ]

Wanting and wishing won't. Doing might, got the best chance of those.

[ Not that even that is a certainty, as this kid just articulated anyway ]

[a_gentle_boy]

But wanting and wishing... makes you do, right? That's why I'm here at all.

[A slight sigh.]

I guess sometimes what you want and wish and do aren't even possible...

[makeitquick]

Yeah, for what you can do then. [ Inhale, exhale ] 'Course the world isn't fair or perfect, but even if there's no mistakes made, there's no flawless act either. Even the gods had to get told off by the Savior, and all.

[a_gentle_boy]

I don't know if that's really how it went...

[But he smiles a little.]

Do you think the gods care about... all of this? Or is this just... how things are supposed to be?

[action]

[brandnewshoes]

[Estelle didn't see the post until a couple hours too late; she decided to not reply to an old recording and try to talk to Lucas, later. It'd be hard to miss him, now; he's glowing quite literally, and there's those diamond patterns in the air. They're pretty, really. She stares at them for a moment, before she walks closer to him. She holds a hand up, in a short wave.]

Hey.

[She keeps her voice quiet and muted. He must be--be doing something. Evolving, maybe; Estelle isn't totally sure. She hesitates, before she smiles.]

...you're kinda glowing. It's cool.

[a_gentle_boy]

[He glances up and gives a shy wave back.]

...Hi, Miss Estelle.

It started a little while ago. ...I've been trying to get control of it, but I'm not really sure... what it is.

[Well, it's not hurting him, anyway.]

[brandnewshoes]

Well...

[He seems okay. That's good. She walks closer, then she starts forward, looking him up and down. It seems safe enough; it's a pattern, if kind of a surprising one.]

What were you doing, when it started?

[a_gentle_boy]

[...

He does not think he will respond with 'crying while using Avey as a tissue' so.]

Just... thinking.

Thinking about things.

[Crying while using Avey as a tissue.]

Voice

[underwearfortomorrow]

[This takes a moment for him to respond to, because it hits so close to home that it physically hurts. He's not sure what to say, because in his place he didn't know what to do either. People died. He did his best and people died anyway. He spent a lot of time running from that, didn't he?]

The desire to help others- while seeming like such a simple want- will always be a heavy burden on the heart. It's like you said- sometimes you can do everything right- you can do your very best but in the end ...it won't always turn out the way you hoped.

But I think... even in the face of those instances, it's worth it to try. There are still people who need help and doing nothing, when you could have done something, may very well feel worse.

I've learned that I can't help everyone- and that trying to help everyone cost a great deal- but I can still help those within arms reach. I can still try because while those failures will always be terrible, the successes are what drives me forward.

[After he's said it all, he's not sure what to think. He doesn't open up like that very often but ...he felt like he needed to say something. Maybe it would help, maybe not.]

[a_gentle_boy]

...I won't stop trying.

[His voice is still soft and pained, but there is a certain strength about the way he says this.]

But what if... there aren't any successes? I won't stop trying, but I don't know what I would do... if I never did help. If I'll always just be...

Powerless.

[underwearfortomorrow]

There will be, if just for your decision to keep trying.

[There's a soft but hopeful way he says that.]

Feeling powerless happens, but it's a feeling that will eventually pass. I know that from experience.

voice.

[worldmother]

[This hits her hard, and while she believes she may know who this is, Elly won't make assumptions.]

We can't always know who will pull through and who won't. All you can do is make sure that they're comfortable and know that there's someone there for them, which you did.

There are some things we can't change. We might want to, but we can't. All we can do as doctors and as people is keep moving forward, and take care of those that come to us as they come to us. We can't save everyone, even if we might want to...

[a_gentle_boy]

[He has a feeling he can identify this voice, too, and she, perhaps is one of the few people who will really understand why he's so devastated. He swallows a little.]

Is that enough?

Is... being there enough?

[This seems like a genuine question.]

[worldmother]

I didn't think so at first. But after having someone tell me that after I saw him pass, I believe it. I told him that it would be all right, even though I knew--knew it wouldn't be. He thanked me for that. Sometimes just being there and reassuring someone is enough.

voice; sorry I'm super late!

[missleadingquestions]

...Hey, Lucas...

You know, maybe you should come by the school soon. I know... it really hurts to lose somebody. But...

Just because someone's gone, that doesn't mean they aren't okay. And you did your best to take care of him... I'm sure he appreciates that. Even now.

[a_gentle_boy]

((No problem! Just a heads-up that I'll be on hiatus quite soon, though, so I apologize for any delays!))

[Oops. He had been identified. There is a slight draw of breath in surprise before a short laugh.]

I guess that wasn't very subtle.

[A half-formed sigh.]

But the problem is... my best isn't good enough, is it...?

[missleadingquestions]

What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't know a student's voice? [Even if she doesn't always get to work with him-- or her other students-- consistently. Regardless, she sounds sheepish suddenly.]

Sorry. Should I have made it a private call?

[She continues anyway; there's no point in going back now.]

I mean... Sometimes even the strongest people out there can't change things that aren't meant to be changed, I guess. But even if those things hurt, we still learn from them, and sometimes they aren't as bad as we think they are when they happen.