[video] - Masks and Fasting and Fighting

[missleadingquestions]

[On the video screen this afternoon are Maya and Shinrei, decked up for Soul Fast. Both of them look rather excited.]

So, it's that time of the year again, everyone! Soul Fast is beginning, aaand I wanted to remind you guys that Ninetails Vale is selling masks and performing the usual ceremonies, as always.

[Maya seems just slightly disconcerted when in the background, Kuzuryuu and Ichigo begin talking.]

What’s a birthday, anyway?

Are you fucking kidding me, even a two-year-old could figure that one out from context.

[Maya clears her throat, rolls her eyes, and continues.]

For anyone unfamiliar with Soul Fast, it's the festival in which we celebrate the communion of the world of the living and that of the dead. It's a great time to honour lost loved ones, or beloved pokémon!

[She leans over and rubs Shinrei's back-scruff, making sure not to disturb her painted fur.]

God, I’m just wondering! What’s your problem, anyway?

I don’t have a problem! Seriously, do you have a brain in there, what else could a “birth day” be but the day someone’s born, moron?!

And what’s wrong with NOT knowing what it is?! I’ve got a brain, but I’m still trying to figure out all this human stuff, alright?!

Pokemon get born, too, dumbass!

I woke up in front of a shrine! And I - rrrgh, never mind! I should’ve figured you’d be an ass over a simple question.


...Um, anyway, like I said, this is a really important festival for ghost pokémon and the like, so remember to honour them with like, sweets and stuff.

[She looks like she's losing concentration.]

Uh, we... will have all sorts of things for you to participate in, and--

You were probably still BORN, stupid! Maya brings Ghost-type eggs home sometimes, I’ve fucking seen them. Just because YOU don’t know anything doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be common sense!


How can it be common sense if I don’t know anything?! That doesn’t even make sense, idiot!


Your lack of damn knowledge is what doesn’t make sense! Were you this idiotic BEFORE you died, too?!


Shut the hell up! At least I’M not an insensitive asshole that’d bite someone’s head off for asking a goddamn question, unlike YOU!


Well who the fuck asked you to ask me, shithead?!


I asked because you brought it up, dog breath!

[Maya finally gets up, handing the warp band to Shinrei, walks to the doorway, and yells. Shinrei winces when she does, waving sheepishly at the camera.]

I'm trying to make a video here! Shut up already!

[She returns to the camera looking exhausted.]

Does anyone know how to make stupid boys stop arguing?

Comments

[missleadingquestions]

...Well, don't go getting a big head from it.

[She waves the thought away with her hand, stepping away from him. As long as she looks away, it's easier to keep from grinning and pretend she's totally serious about moving on.]

Anyway, shouldn't we be getting ready for Soul Fast instead of hyping up that ego? Pretend I didn't say it.

[biteoutofcrime]

[He laughs quietly as she turns and gets her back for the hair ruffling by momentarily catching a lock of hers just to release it again, too quick to really tug.]

Oi, what's this 'we.' I don't remember agreeing to any prep shit.

[Not that he won't. He likes Soul Fast.

Even if mostly he likes that Maya likes Soul Fast.]

[missleadingquestions]

Aw, you're not going to come with me?

But your mask looks so cool!

[She's totally fake-pouting and it's obvious and she knows full well it's obvious, because she can't help but let it slide back into a grin.]

I just won't share any of my sweets with you.

[biteoutofcrime]

Like you could fucking eat all that shit by yourself anyway.

[Well actually...she probably could. But he grins, too, bright and wolfish.]

Your Mienfoo won't let you.

[missleadingquestions]

H-hey, she doesn't have to know!

[Just had to bring it up.]

It's not my fault I can put away so much. Girls have a second stomach for sweets, you know.

[biteoutofcrime]

Sure they do. And if Hami finds out, probably a third one for punishment.

But, you know, we can probably come to an arrangement so she doesn't find out.

[missleadingquestions]

...O-ho, you mean so you don't tell her, huh?

Y'know, you always told me not to get involved in this kind of business.

[biteoutofcrime]

Never stopped you before. So, I'm thinking twenty percent of any cookies you bring in, excluding chocolate.

[missleadingquestions]

But I'm already making you some with peanut butter so you'll come along in the first place.

I mean, if you don't want them, I understand.

[biteoutofcrime]

Wait, you're making some? [That gets his attention. Cookies as ill-begotten gains are one thing, but FRESH cookies are entirely another.] When?

[missleadingquestions]

Mmm, I was going to give them to you before the festival, but now I'm not so sure. I mean, you have been arguing a lot lately and you do want, what was it, twenty percent...?

[biteoutofcrime]

Fuck that twenty percent--aah, wait. That depends on how many cookies you're making. And what type of peanut butter cookies we're talking about. The waffle-looking kind?

[missleadingquestions]

Yes, the waffle ones. And I was gonna make a pretty good number. I mean, after all... it' good to give something to a dark-type that's protected you from other ghosts, too.

[biteoutofcrime]

[He looks almost a little shy at that. Finally, he admits:]

You probably coulda handled that yourself.

[After all, she had strong partners with her. But he shrugs the feeling off, because fuck it, it turned out fine, who cares. Huff.]

But if you're gonna make the cookies anyway, fine, I'll take a couple.

[missleadingquestions]

Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I'm pretty glad I could count on you to defend me.

[And then a more sly grin.]

Are you sure you're not really the heroic type?

[biteoutofcrime]

Fuck, don't even joke.

[He shudders at the thought. A heroic Kuzuryuu? Never.]

Just give me the cookies and I'll consider it part of a protection racket.

[missleadingquestions]

Fine, fine. Pleasure doing business with you, as always.

[Has she somehow gotten the upper hand again? Yeah. Probably.]

And that's excuse enough to stay at least a little while for Soul Fast, right?

[biteoutofcrime]

[He lets out a heavy, sarcastic sigh. What a huge burden, woe is his life, eye-roll.]

Fine, I'll stick around. And I'll help you set some shit up. But don't count on it happening again anytime soon, all right? You can't bribe me with cookies forever.

[missleadingquestions]

Yeah, yeah, I'll remember.

Next time I'll just bribe you with karintou. Or get Kariri to sucker you into it, you know.

[She dusts off her hands, beginning to walk rather smugly toward the door.]

[biteoutofcrime]

Oi, don't get ahead of yourself. I'm not that much of a sucker.

[But his tail wags just slightly as he follows her, more or less proving that statement dead wrong.]