Video | But home is a feeling I buried in you

[comparative_insanity]

[This... is not a Warp Band which has been active - or within range - in a long while. The image is fuzzy and looks somehow grubby, perhaps to be attributed to the fact that the device has spent almost a whole year stuffed into the bottom of a bag.

The young man on the screen, though, doesn't look like he needs any help looking like a mess.

The fair feathers covering his head are ruffled and matted, and on one side of his head they show signs of having been singed by something. What can be seen of his clothes looks like rags and tatters, repaired in places with caterpie silk, woven vines, feathers, wool... all manners of debris. The once-blue gemstone attached to his forehead looks dull, now faded from blue to dirty yellow. From what can be seen of his face and body, he's not only incredibly filthy, but also a large number of meals short of a healthy weight. He has a nasty-looking cut on the left side of his face, running right across his eye, which is swollen and looks infected.

He offers the camera a bleak, apologetic smile, and the chipper tone in his voice sounds incredibly false.]

Hello everyone. I'm, ah- My name is Fai Flourite. I went missing from Union last autumn.

[He shifts a bit. There is a muffled splash followed by the aggravated chattering of a Floette off-camera, and Fai winces.]

I'm currently a bit... stuck. I'm on my way home, but- mm, I don't think I should be Teleporting in a while just yet. Last time I did, I ended up in a swamp. Which, incidentally, is why I'm a bit stuck.

[He attempts a laugh, but it sounds pathetic. He averts his eyes, as if he can't even face the camera. His voice drops into a mumble.]

But I'm coming home. I know I must've worried some people, and... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

[And with that, the feed cuts out.]

Comments

( VIDEO. )

[ladyofluminosity]

[ The first trip out to Sanctuary was meant to be somewhat short, albeit exhausting exertion. Once she came back into Warp Band range, Lux knew that there was quite a bit of catching up to do, and was admittedly a bit excited about that. This was the first time she had been away for so long, and the young blond couldn't wait to hear about what she had missed.

She saw his message a few hours after it went live, and stopped cold. Even in the sorry state he was in, even with the lower quality feed patching through, Lux knew. Her hands trembled, and at first she rushed to send a reply. But she stopped. What... what should she say in this instance? He was dead as far as she was concerned, and yet there he was, his usual cheery, forced self despite the sorry shape he was in.

Lux wanted to be angry. Furious, even. But somehow it seemed pointless. Taking a deep breath, trying to stabilize herself as much as she could, she turned on the Band. ]

Leave it to you to get stuck in the mud somewhere strange.

[ She looked different, even in the grainy video. Her hair was longer, brushing her waist, and nearly white in color. She had a faint glow about her as well, her fairy typing quite literally shining through. ]

[comparative_insanity]

[When her message comes through, Fai is admittedly no longer actively stuck in the mud. He's got a blanket around himself, his left eye is now covered by a patch, and the right one is surrounded by skin that looks red and raw. He's not quite as much a complete mess anymore, but the expression he's wearing also gives away that he's far beyond trying to hold it together at this point. The internal turmoil which had spilled through every crack in his voice and every flicker of his expression is now pouring out unchecked.

Still, he tries to keep his voice as steady as possible, because he doesn't want her to think that after all this, he's actually feeling sorry for himself.]

I'm... I should've left a message. I should've called before I was out of range. I should've-

[He cuts himself short. Does it matter, now?

So why not say something that actually means something?

Quietly, his voice dull:]

I couldn't find him, Lux. He disappeared.

That's okay I didn't need my heart.

[ladyofluminosity]

You should have.

[ Did that come off a bit harsh? Lux winced as soon as she said it, the words falling from her lips before she could catch them. Wincing as she spoke, the other blond lowered her eyes. ]

Sorry, I didn't mean--

[ She looked up suddenly, stopping as Fai spoke. Yuui... Yuui was still out there? Lux brought a hand to her chest, brows furrowed deeply in worry. ]

...So that's what happened.

/gives our hearts a warrior's burial

[comparative_insanity]

[It might be harsh, but he honestly welcomes it - he will be harsher still toward himself every waking moment for a long while. He only nods in agreement, shoulders tiredly slumped, new tears starting to well up in his good eye. He's cried so much since coming home, he honestly barely notices.]

I woke up one morning and I- I could just feel that he was gone. I've always been useless at telepathy, you know that, but Yuui... [He chokes on the name.] He was different. I could always feel where he was, if he was fine or hurt or upset. Now there's- there's nothing.

[He struggles for breath, his throat thick and his voice barely recognizable.]

And then... I think I lost my mind, Luxanna. [He's not trying to plead insanity, not trying to make excuses. He's just stating a fact, his voice flat and helpless.]

[ladyofluminosity]

[ He was like glass. It wasn't something she was used to, and seeing Fai so vulnerable gave her pause. She could be a light for him, she knew--as she could be for anyone--but seeing him in that state, it was hard to keep shining bright as the sun, as she often did. Losing Yuui, being lost in the wilds, it did something to him, and he was far more candid with her than he ever was before.

It was chilling. He was like glass, and she was afraid if she reached out to touch that he would shatter into a million little pieces. ]

Oh Fai...

[ If she could just hold his hand, tell him somehow it would be all right. He really had been to Hell and back, hadn't he? ]

Feliks is coming to get you.

[ It wasn't a question, but a statement. She hadn't known whether they talked, but she knew. Nothing could never separate the two; Feliks would come for him. He would see to it. ]

And I'll be back in Union in a few days myself. The world is a lot bigger than it was when you left. We'll search for him. All of us. I won't stop until we find him. I promise you, on my name and honor as a Crownguard that we will bring Yuui home.

[comparative_insanity]

[He has to swallow hard to be able to reply at all, throat constricted so tightly that it's almost hard to breathe. It eases a bit as he manages a watery smile.]

He's got me.

[He tilts his Warp Band slightly for a moment, showing Feliks curled up in his lap, apparently asleep for the moment. To someone who has been present during all these months, it might be evident that there is less tension in his face now, but Fai can only see the marks that grief and stubborn refusal of fate has wrought. A taloned hand brushes a lock of fiery-tipped hair away from his eyes, and even in his sleep there appears to be a brief sparkle of flame there.

Then Fai's face returns, heavily marked both in gratitude and guilt. He can't bring himself to say more about Feliks, because what can you say when you've messed up this badly? He just draws in a shuddering, rattling breath, attempting some last vestige of self-control.]

Thank you. [Somehow, that feels more right to say than endlessly repeating "I'm sorry"; less self-centered, certainly. He even manages a hint of his old playful tone as he continues.] I'd say I could marry you, but somehow I feel we've already been down that road before.

[And he wishes he could make the moment last longer than it does, wishes he could protect her from how quickly he withdraws inside himself again, smile fading. But she is no longer the girl he lied to so she wouldn't get in trouble for his pranks and misbehavior, not the righteously indignated little lady watching him laughingly vault over the wall in her parents' garden, never for a moment thinking that perhaps she was angry because he didn't even consider taking her with him. She is a woman, bright with the kind of inner strength he has always faked and never quite managed to get right. He can't even protect her from himself. So instead, in a voice young and broken and tired, he chokes out:]

Please... help me. I need you. I need help.

[ladyofluminosity]

[ There was a pang of sadness when she saw Feliks there. Not jealousy, because she never did see Fai that way, but somehow, in some way, knowing that she wasn't needed here... hurt a bit. It was always Fai who gallivanted about when they were children, strong and sure, and somehow in her mind Lux always wanted to feel needed, respected, admired by the one who watched her grow up.

Knowing that somehow along the way their paths diverged still somehow stung. It was stupid, and not appropriate for the time, but Lux found it hard to press that feeling from her mind.

So, instead, she smiled through it. That's what he always did when there was something unpleasant, right? Strength wasn't about being strong, it was giving strength and hope to others. Her thoughts, her feelings, they had nothing to do with it.

It was hard to keep smiling after a comment like that, however, and, for the briefest of moments, it turned into a winced half-smile. ]

Don't let Feliks hear that.

[ She nearly laughed at the absurdity. What else could she do? There was so much he missed, so much she couldn't tell him. Not yet.

A sharp breath as his voice broke, and her smile shattered. Being strong was offering others your strength. But was that what he needed right now? She didn't rightly know. Lux struggled with her words a bit. ]

We need to get you home first. Get you cleaned up, rested, and at least somewhat back to what you used to be. Traveling like you are would be suicide. We have a spare bedroom if you need a place to stay other than the Flourite estate. Although... I suppose Feliks would rather put you up, huh?

[ She cleared her throat awkwardly. It still felt a bit strange, not only talking to him, but talking to him in the context of his boyfriend. ]

I'm back in Union for a few weeks, then I have to head back to Sanctuary. I have a few contacts there, I can have them start searching after I return. The Seekers network is getting stronger as well, I can put out a notice to any field agents out with a description of what he looks like.

[Video] 1/2

[niepokonany]

[Oh, Gods.]

[Oh, blessed, merciful Savior.]

[Feliks looks for a moment like he's been shot, eyes wide with shock, skin going pale enough to notice even with the Warp Band's image quality, lips trembling.]

[Before he gathers the will to form his thoughts into words, there's a moment where nothing registers on his face but the shock and pain of realizing that as stubbornly as he denied it, he wouldn't be this shocked if some part of him hadn't thought Fai was dead.]

2/2

[niepokonany]

[--No. Fai's not home yet, there's work to do.]

Where are you?

[The image goes out of focus and shaky, and it's only a second or two before the sound of a Rapidash's hoofbeats kicks in.]

[comparative_insanity]

[Feliks.

The short moment where the camera simply lingers on his shocked and hurt features, driving them into Fai's heart like icy nails, he is just as incapable of speaking, of communicating anything at all. All he knows is that Feliks is almost too beautiful to look at - or maybe that is just the shame and regret making his good eye water and burn. Later, he'll remind himself that he has no right to ask Feliks for anything, that he owes him nothing and Fai owes him too much to ever repay. He'll tell himself he's selfish for still feeling as he does.

Right now, though... right now the other's absence suddenly goes from an infected old wound to an open hole in his chest, and he is so desperate to fill it that he will do literally anything. He fumbles desperately with his Warp Band, managing to find the button that automatically transmits the coordinates he honestly has very little grasp on. Then he swallows hard and manages to rasp out:]

Feliks. [Savior, what else can he say? A lifetime of apologies won't be enough, and it seems like such a trite and useless thing to open with after so much time.] Feliks, I... Feliks. [His throat is so painfully tight, he can barely force a sound out of it.

And then, selfishly:]

Please... Please, find me. Take me home.

[niepokonany]

On it, gorgeous.

[The hoofbeats speed up even more, and there's a whinny that has a distinct tone of I'm going as fast as I can already! even if you're not fluent in Pokemon.]

Just hang tight where you are, ok? I'm on my way. I'm coming.

[comparative_insanity]

[Fai lets out a breath that he wasn't quite aware that he was holding, brushing at something strange and wet on his cheek, staring at the droplets clinging for a finger before realizing that oh. Right. Tears.

And then there is an absolute explosion of distressed yipping and whining and begging off-camera, and the image shakes as Blossom desperately headbutts it in an attempt to get to the familiar voice. Behind it is the lower, mournful whine of Mr Sunshine. Fair lets out a damp little laugh, holding onto the Warp Band with shaky hand.]

Sounds like you've been really missed, huh?

[niepokonany]

I'd better have been.

[He's kind of glad the camera's not on his face right now.]

video 1/2

[rainsrespite]

[Fai might not remember this face well, but it recognizes him. They'd only briefly met, but a year of patrols with a photograph in a sheaf of well-worn ones and helping a certain idiot look for one in particular had burned Fai's image into Yuuna Sugasawa's mind. There's a very audible curse and the sound of a breaking chair as an incredibly tall woman practically shouts down at her Warp Band from Ranger HQ.]

Savior's Great Flaming Arse! Fai?!

video 2/2

[rainsrespite]

[She's already barreling out the door, tearing the knob clean off in her furor. Feliks would've seen it, he'd be going out, and she was the only field medic on staff. That meant she needed to be in the air, and in the air yesterday.

The cry of a Pokemon blares of the speakers, and a moment after the woman's voice returns.]

Where are you? I know Feliks is already inbound, I'm the Ranger field medic on duty. Tell me where you are, send up a signal with the warp band, or set something on fire. I'm already on my way.

[comparative_insanity]

[He does recognize the voice and the face - he used to have a great memory for that sort of thing, he remembers. Back when he was still a whole person.

He's just managed to activate his location beacon on his Warp Band, and manages to find enough of his voice to mumble:]

My coordinates should be transmitting and... ah, I think Mr Sunshine might have heard the word "fire", because he just torched a bush. Lucky I'm in a swamp, huh? [A feeble laugh, with more bewildered hurt than anything else behind it.]

Please don't trouble yourself too much, though. I'm just exhausted - I'm not too badly hurt.

[rainsrespite]

Mister...Sunshine.

[Yuuna flips out her band, and checks the signal, easily catching that distress beacon and nudging the Dragonite into the sky. A cream colored blur flashes up, and then there's sky.]

You've been missing for a year. Hurt or not, I'm going to insist on you staying in the medical ward for a few days once we get you back. Standard procedure, but I'll make sure you get a comfortable room.

[comparative_insanity]

[In response to a strange voice saying his name, the Houndoom off camera lets out a gruff little yip. Fai hums softly in return, stroking his ears. Then he makes a resigned little sound, nodding.]

I won't make your life harder by protesting or anything like that. I understand that you must do your job.

[It sounds unbelievably reasonable to come from someone like him, but it mostly comes from not wanting to cause anyone any more trouble, any more hurt. Hestitantly, he adds:]

My- My parents will be able to visit, right?

[rainsrespite]

[Yuuna nods, since he's being so reasonable. It calms her own initial anger a bit too. Oh she still wants to throttle something, for just...having all this insanity happening all at once after a year. She doesn't know what to think, so she lapses into doctor demeanor. Brisk, clinical.]

They will. And I'll have the medics put in extra chairs. You'll have plenty of visitors, and I'll make sure you have the best of care.

I'm glad you're remaining calm, Fai. Just give us a bit, and we'll be there. I've linked up with Feliks now. Look for a pair of dragons.

[toxicrevenger]

Fai!

[Guess who else was worried about him? Pamela nearly jumped when she heard his voice on the warp band.]

Are you hungry?

[comparative_insanity]

Pam!

[Fai's good eye brightens a bit, even if he still looks more than a bit worse for wear. The tired laugh that follows her question actually has a bit of genuine amusement in it too.]

I don't think I've not been hungry since last October. It'll probably take me a while to get over that.

[toxicrevenger]

[He definitely needs medical care and to be home safe, but there are enough coming to get him and she's not trained medical personnel. What she can provide easily, however, is something fresh to eat.]

I'll have fresh fruit and water ready for you as soon as you're back in Union.

[And now that she has a better hang of how to use those pheromones, she knows she can push her way into seeing him even if the hospital staff try to say family only.]

I'm glad you're back.

[comparative_insanity]

[He runs a hand through his feathers, showing talons which have been allowed to grow unchecked, wicked and dirty and cracked. He is in a severe need of a manicure, to be honest.]

That sounds lovely. If I never have to chew an old root or choke down pond algae, it will be too soon.

[But he had eaten whatever he could nonetheless - it hadn't made him happy or well fed, but it had kept him alive at least.

Then, his voice softens with sincerity as well as guilt.]

I'm glad to be back, too. I- I've missed everyone.

[toxicrevenger]

[Pamela makes a mental note to set Fai up for a manicure sometime after the medical staff have given him the all clear to receive general visitors.]

You won't have to while I'm around, I promise.

[It's one she can easily keep considering how quickly she's able to grow plants now. She's hesitant to mention Yuui. Maybe that can wait until another time. For now, she just wants to help take care of her friend in whatever ways she can.]

[comparative_insanity]

I might never be able to thank you enough.

[Not actually for the fruit, although that's nice too. For acting as if she still is his friend. For apparently still caring, even though he had ditched everything and just left.

So even if she doesn't ask, he feels as if he owes her some kind of explanation.]

Yuui... disappeared. I haven't been able to find him. But I'm not going to stop looking. [Does he sound like someone else you know, Pamela?]