How come that has to be a bad thing?

[He's sort of vaguely aware that he's picking a fight over nothing, and that it's been happening a lot these past 10 months, but he's never been much good at getting along with people, has he? And deep down, subconsciously, he feels far safer arguing than talking about the things he's struggling with.]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a problem lighter and littler! I don't see anyone else complaining except for you.