I • Rampage of The Luggage

[morituri_nolumus_mori]

1. The Refuge Camp [Action]
[ Nestled deep in the refuge camp was a travel trunk. Like all travel trunks, it was both well-used and well-traveled. It was also asleep. A cacophony of sawing sounds rumbled through the tent flap, causing a passerby to sharply veer away. Rincewind stepped outside and stretched. He had a long day ahead of him. There were groceries to procure and clothes to reluctantly buy. He needed to get out of the camp and find an actual place to stay. The tent was all fine and dandy, but at the end of the day, it was on the breezy side and didn't offer leg room. He had to duck which meant his hat never stayed on his head when he had to stand. ]

[ No, he had to find a new residence. Somehow. But, food first. Rincewind picked a direction and strode. ]

[ The Luggage woke up. ]

2. The Residential District [Action]
[ Something was rocketing through the district. It was box-shaped. It was lost. The Luggage was looking for its master and its master wasn't here. At least, not anymore. It could tell that now, but the realization had dawned, passed through midday, and sunk back beneath the horizon of wooden indifference. The Luggage was doing something else. It knocked a trash can over. That, it decided, was fun! It knocked over another one and, because it could, trampled the spilled contents. An unsuspecting fungoos tried to flee the chaos, bounced, and found itself in a place that was square shaped, padded with folded clothes, and wooden. It would only be later that the unfortunate fungoos would realize it had been consumed by a box with teeth and ghostly legs. ]

[ The Luggage was here. ]

3. The Library [Action]
[ Libraries are quiet, this is a well-known fact spread throughout various cultures, times, and even dimensions. Libraries are always quiet...so why was this one... not? ]

[ The answer was trundling through the romance section like an elephant trying to tiptoe. Rows and rows of books fell like swooning women as The Luggage wade through countless aisles of squashy love stories. A few lucky specimens from the children's section had stolen a free ride atop the closed lid. Other, less fortunate fragments of literature presented themselves as loose pages plastered along The Luggage like tasteless bumper stickers. ]

4. Junes [Action]
[ It should be known that the natural pray of traveling cases are piles of neat, unsuspecting clothes, small dental kits shoved in baggies, and paperback books. It is the first item of this small list that has instigated the current display of utter chaos. Something evil had stomped its way through Junes. Evil, in this case, has a name: The Luggage. If a rude customer was a retail worker's worst nightmare, then The Luggage was a walking, box-shaped embodiment of retail hell: every phantom leg a potentiality of devastation. ]

[ Its current record consists of eight toppled shelves, scattered kitchenware (kettles, pots, spoons, and knives), a decimated door (it didn't stand a chance), and decapitating a mannequin. It was this very same mannequin that The Luggage now stood over, its head tumbling over the lip of the lid and cracking against the floor. The Luggage yawns, displaying several unmentionables caught between its teeth like colorful, breast-shaped broccoli. ]

5. A window of panic [Video]
[ The video flicks on to display an image of a man who's features might draw one's mind to recall the visage of a Rattata were it thirty-five years old, a flunked magus, and wore a hat that pronounced its inability to spell (in more ways than one). Rincewind looked harrowed. He gibbered, realized he was gibbering, and snapped his mouth shut. ]

[ He tried again ]

Er ... hallo. Has anyone seen my luggage? It ... er ... seems to have gone and wandered off.