It can take weeks or months for a body to get over trauma completely. And considering your particular circumstances, it's hard to say just how long it will take before you're back to normal. You can't push yourself like this!

Next time you decide to go off on a suicide mission, at least invite someone with you. I would be more than happy to go with you and make sure you don't do something this reckless, if it means you live to see another day.